I play disappointed men in adverts and sitcoms.
I like making things up. For example, I co-wrote Home Time .
Like you, I'm dying. Before it happens, I'd quite like a single entry on a quotations website.
When anyone asks for proof that a story you're telling actually happened, please consider using the phrase "No anecdote is improved by citation."
Prefaced with "I think it was Neil Edmond who said..."